Dating Help and Advice

Dating Tip – Confidence is Everything

admin — Fri, 27 May 2011 21:25:09 +0000

In the dating world, just like everywhere else, confidence is everything. Your confident attitude – not to be confused with arrogance or being cocky – will be fundamental to attracting dates and meeting people. If you have the feeling that you have little self confidence or you have issues with self-esteem, then I wouldn’t be surprised if right now you are shaking your head in dismay and thinking that if confidence is going to be the key to your dating life, then you already have a problem.

Real confidence is developed by trying new things, irrespective of whether you fail or not. Eventually you will learn and succeed – confidence is not increased by doing nothing.

So what if you’re not Brad Pitt, neither is anyone else apart from him. And let’s face it, it’s not very likely that the next woman you date is going to be Angelina Jolie.

What you need do is capitalize on what you’ve got going for yourself and quit comparing yourself to other people. Confidence comes from recognizing your own strengths and making the most of them. What you need to do is look at yourself and determine your own best qualities so that you can take advantage of them.

Here are some good ways you can boost your self-confidence:

Take some time to honestly take stock of what’s good about you. A cautionary note – if you find when you’re doing this that you’re picking yourself to pieces and only finding faults, you’re on the wrong track. If you’re doing this, then stop putting yourself down and find some of your good points. For example maybe you’ve got a great smile, a wonderful sense of humor, expressive eyes, brains, or are a great cook.
Don’t just look at your physical body, think about stuff like your personality traits, the hobbies you enjoy and excel at, or your natural ability to make people around you feel at ease.

Make a list of all the things that are cool about you – nothing is too insignificant or outrageous – these are the things that set you apart from the crowd and make you worth dating – you can build confidence around these things. If you’re still struggling and can’t think of what your best characteristics and talents are, then ask your friends and loved ones.

Don’t forget that if the women you date are intelligent and nice, they’re going to realize that you’re not perfect and neither are they. What if she doesn’t like every single thing about you? This doesn’t mean anything.
If there are enough things about you that she likes, she’s going to overlook your imperfections. This goes both ways and it’s just the way dating has always worked. If she’s looking for absolute perfection in a man she’s never going to be happy, and you certainly don’t want her anyway.

Project confidence. Confidence is projected first by body language and then by how you speak to her. You’ll project an air of confidence by looking relaxed and comfortable. This means standing or sitting straight, but not being too stiff.
Eye contact and a smile are of paramount importance. If you shift your position every few seconds, avoid making eye contact, slouch and generally seem distracted, she’s going to think that you’re not interested or you have something to hide.

Whatever you do, don’t mumble. Speak clearly and positively because this exudes confidence. Smile but don’t overdo it so you look like a goon

Becoming more confident will require that you take stock of your good qualities and come to the realization that no-one is perfect, meaning that you can stop worrying about it.

Being confident is one of the most important keys when it comes to landing dates and one day finding Mrs Right. If you need to practice being confident, then so be it.

Ideas For A Good First Date

admin — Fri, 27 May 2011 00:15:46 +0000

So you’re planning to invite her out for your first date and asking yourself what’s a good first date idea. Of course if you’re going to be inviting her to join you for something that you’re already going to, you don’t need to worry about what to do. But if you don’t have something planned, you need to figure out now what your first date will be.

You want to choose something that’s going to be fun for you both, and which will give her a chance to see your most interesting and attractive side. You don’t want the date to be something that’s going to put a lot of pressure on either of you. First dates should be easy and casual. If they aren’t then there’s not going to be a second date.

One good way to plan a first date is to plan it for the day, rather than the evening. This gives the date a more casual feel and allows you to do things that make it very easy and comfortable for getting to know each other.

Such dates could be seeing a museum exhibit together, lunch, visiting a local amusement park or biking at the nature center. Choose something that you’ll both enjoy, based on what you know about her likes and dislikes.

Daytime dates are a good way to start things off, and if you find that you’re really having a great time, you can always extend it into the evening by suggesting you get dinner. If you’re planning on having an evening date for your first get together, you can always go for the traditional dinner and a movie, and that’s fine – it’s tried and true, but it’s a long time to sit with someone silently (in the theater).

Still, these types of dates often work well. Just be sure to choose a movie that she’ll like. If she tells you she hates horror movies, don’t take her to see the latest psycho-axe murderer flick. It will probably be your last date. Other good evening dates can be sports events, plays or concerts (but again, that’s a long time without any conversation), or a drink at the local piano bar.

Whatever you choose for your first date, it will be in your best interest to not make it too romantic. You’re still getting to know each other and pouring on the romance may scare her off.

You can do all the gentlemanly things that most women appreciate, such as opening her car door. Those gestures are usually welcomed. As far as physical contact, you might want to hold off on trying to hold her hand or kissing her until the next date.

If you lightly put your hand on the small of her back while escorting her to your table or theater seats, that’s probably okay, but if you sense her tensing up when you do that, stop immediately.

Just remember, when you’re choosing an activity for your first date, it’s often easier to start with something casual during the day. The pressure is off and you can both relax and enjoy yourselves. Whether your date is during the day or in the evening, remember, it’s only the first date, so don’t go overboard with romantic gestures or attempted physical contact.

First Date Advice – Making Conversation

admin — Thu, 26 May 2011 20:58:42 +0000

You’re on your first date and even though you’ve looked forward to this, and planned for it, you’re worried about making conversation and what to do when you run into one of those inevitable lulls.

Maybe you’re not worried at all because you consider yourself to be an expert conversationalist – a real talker. Either way, you need some pointers, just to make sure you keep the conversation going, keep it interesting and make it fun for both of you.

When you’re going on a date, the assumption is that you both feel that you have enough in common to have a good time together. And it’s not only your responsibility to keep a lively conversation going – it’s hers, too.

But for your part, take note of the following good conversation advice.

Prepare yourself – You don’t have to be an expert on world news and the latest celebrity gossip, but you should read the news and scan the Internet for current events and at least be conversant in some areas.
Ask her about herself, her hobbies, her family, her dogs, her college alma mater, her job, and her favorite vacation spots. Ask questions that can’t be answered with a yes or no, but require an answer that will hopefully lead to more conversation. An example would be, “You mentioned that you went to Toronto last month, what made you choose to spend time in Toronto?”
Put your cell phone on vibrate, or turn it off completely. If you’re expecting a really important call from your boss about the latest $40 million contract you’re trying to get, take the call and BE BRIEF. If your buddy calls you just to talk, or your mom calls to tell you that your sister is coming over for Thanksgiving and you should be there, too – those calls can wait. It’s really rude to hold a phone conversation that’s nothing less than extremely important while you’re on a date.
Don’t monopolize the conversation. If you’re busy telling her your life’s history, she probably won’t be able to get a word in edgewise and might begin to suspect that you’re self-absorbed. You won’t get a second date that way.
Stay away from touchy subjects such as religion, sex, politics, capital punishment, assisted suicide, etc. These topics can wait until you know each other better and you both have a better feel for each other’s sensitivities.
Be polite. Try to keep from throwing crude references and expletives into your conversation. You’re supposed to be making a good impression.
Use your sense of humor. If you can make her laugh, you’re going to win points because everyone loves to laugh. Just don’t do it at someone else’s expense.

Once you’ve had a couple of dates, the conversation will flow easily, but often, the first date is a process of trying to figure out what you have in common, if you can feel comfortable with each other and what both of your conversational styles are.

Just relax and remember that it’s not all up to you to keep the conversation going. Enjoy learning about this new person, and have fun telling her interesting things about yourself, too. Before you know it, the words will be flowing effortlessly.

Succesful Online Dating – Setting Goals

admin — Fri, 22 Oct 2010 19:57:58 +0000

Online dating is something that anyone can do, but not everyone will do it successfully.

In online dating, if you would like to be successful, you need to start off right, build your profile in the right manner and then secure the rewards. But before we can tell you how to take your online dating experience to success, we need to map out where we are going.

Setting Your Goals

The first thing that you need to do is to set some goals. What should you include in those goals? Ask yourself these questions.

What am I looking to achieve during my online dating experience?
What am I hoping will be the method that I do that?
Who am I looking for specifically?
What am I willing to do to make it happen?
Can I dedicate some time to making it come together?

When you ask yourself these questions, jot down your answers. You will want to come back and refer to them later. Why do we ask these questions? Because developing goals for online dating is essential. In fact, it is your first tip. Without detailed goals, you will not do all that it takes to be successful.

If you do not have goals, you probably will not spend enough time on your profile. If you do not have goals, you probably will not take the time to seek out others. And, if
you do not have the right goals in place, you wonâ€™t take that all important first step of making contact with someone you are interested in.

After you have determined what your goals are, next determine what you will do to meet them. Here are the first things you need to commit to in order to be successful with online dating.

Spend a good amount of time developing a profile.
Spend at least a few hours a week looking for people that you would like to meet.
Spend a few hours a week sending off emails to those that you are interested in.

When you do these things, you are going to be steadily working your way to finding that perfect person to fill all the important parts of your life.

Is It a Good Idea To Write Letters To Your Ex to Get Her Back?

admin — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 15:28:31 +0000

Is writing letters to get your ex back really a good idea? That’s a question that many people have all the time. There are lots of people who on a daily basis will write letters, text messages, e-mails and just about every other form of text-based correspondence that you can imagine. Many of these people will resort to that form of communication when trying to get an ex-lover to fall in love with them again.

We need to examine both the good points and bad points about this practice before we can really comment on how effective it is.

The good thing about writing letters is that letters allow you to express feelings that you might not otherwise be able to express. There are plenty of people who can open up and say far more in print than they’d ever be able to say verbally. So letters can definitely be a good thing if they are helping you with the communication process.

On the other hand, letters are also quite impersonal. People who are broken up with over the phone, by instant message, through mail or even by a text message are people who not surprisingly tend to hold grudges. The most honest way to break up with someone is in person, although many people just don’t have the nerve to do it this way. Just as this is true with breakups, it is also true with just about everything else related to relationships.

So if you want to get your ex back, the letter might not be the best way of going about communicating that hope.

This is even more evident if you go back and look at the previous good point about writing letters. Even though letters can help you say things that you find hard to say verbally, your ex almost certainly already knows that. Therefore, learning to communicate those things verbally shows your ex that you can change for the better, which is something that is far more likely to make them come back to you than a written letter.

Generally speaking though, all of this might be a bit of an academic debate. Why? Because many times the direct approach is not the best one to take when it comes to getting your ex back.

By definition, writing letters to get your ex back involves the direct approach. If your goal with the letter is to start up the relationship again, you can do nothing but take the direct approach. The closer to the breakup you write the letter, the less likelihood there is of the direct approach being able to work.

Most people would advise that you go with the indirect approach. Let your relationship with your ex grow back into friendship after the breakup and then take the opportunity to reignite the relationship when it comes along. That is far more indirect than direct in nature and of course does not involve you in writing of any letters. This means that at best, there is a lot of back and forth debate of how much good letter writing really is.

How To Win Back Lost Love

admin — Sat, 29 May 2010 17:40:11 +0000

If you’ve had a break-up, you’re probably either trying to figure out how to get over the person, or how to win back lost love. Neither is very easy, but most people go for one or the other, with only very few people able to move on quickly without pining or wishing things could be different.

Before you do anything you should really think hard about the relationship and your ex . Think about how things were and how they will be now. Try to be as unbiased as you can. You might decide that the break-up really isn’t a bad idea after all.

If you decide to try to win back lost love, the first step is to apologize. You might think you’ve done this, in fact it’s quite possible that you might have said you were sorry several times. But if your ex thought you were apologizing just to stop a break-up, he or she might not think the apology was sincere.

If you were the one who did something that you need to apologize for, apologize again. Now they might think the apology is sincere, because nothing hinges on it. If the relationship has ended, you won’t be saying it only to save it but they will believe that you really mean it. (And hopefully, you do.)

When your ex was the one who did something worth apologizing for, then rather than try to get a sincere apology from them, forgive them. You may never forget, especially if your break-up was because of cheating, but you must learn to forgive. Forgiving is much harder for some of us than merely saying, “I forgive you,” though, so you might want to read a book or two on forgiveness and how to really mean it. If you want to win back lost love, this step will help you do it. And it can help prevent problems in the future, too.

If you do succeed and you win back lost love, 3 or 6 or 9 months into the newly patched relationship, old issues might come up. If you haven’t forgiven the person for whatever was done to break up the relationship, then you might have a hard time getting past everything. Old wounds would be reopened and it’s likely that hurtful things would be said.

But if you can truly forgive the person, then there won’t be any need to rehash the past. While you’re working on forgiving him or her for whatever happened to cause the break up, forgive them for the break up itself and you’ll save yourself lots of grief down the road.

Also, to win back lost love, show the person the “you” they fell in love with, not the “you” that has been dumped. They were with you because you have certain qualities – for example kindness and thoughtfulness – not because you’re angry, jealous or hurt. While you might not be able to hide the hurt, concentrate on being the best “you” you can possibly be and you may win back lost love by reminding them why they loved you in the first place.

Get Your Ex Back in Four Easy Steps

admin — Sat, 29 May 2010 12:30:44 +0000

Almost everyone has had to go through a breakup at some stage in their life . A breakup is a strange thing. With most things in life, the more you do them, the easier they get to do. But no matter how many breakups you’ve had to go through in the past, they certainly don’t become easier to go through.

After a breakup, unless the relationship was completely terrible, most people have a desire to get their ex back. In fact, sometimes, even if the relationship was unhealthy, they still desire to get their ex back. You really shouldn’t try to get back with your ex if they ever used physical violence or words to hurt you. That is not a healthy relationship. If you were in a relationship like that and your ex broke up with you, then consider yourself lucky.

Otherwise, most relationships follow a pretty predictable pattern. When you first meet someone everything is wonderful and new. They can do no wrong and you can do no wrong in their eyes. After a short while comfort sets in. You adjust to each other. When the newness is gone and the comfort is there things in the relationship change. The little quirks you were willing to overlook before actually bother you now.

There is an old expression “familiarity breeds contempt.” Truer words couldn’t be spoken for relationships. After a couple get comfortable and familiar with each other, trouble usually starts. This is exactly what tests the strength of the relationship. It takes work and effort to maintain a relationship. Sometimes, when things break, instead of getting repaired, the other person wants out of the relationship completely.

Do you believe, despite it being over, your relationship is worth salvaging, even if the other person made it clear, it’s over? You need some answers on how get your ex back. Here are four steps you can take.

Say sorry
Saying you are sorry is one of the best how get your ex back methods. Even if it doesn’t get your ex back, it’s usually the best first step. Be sure that you say sorry for the right reasons. After a breakup it can be easy to blame yourself for everything. Remember, it takes two people to have a successful relationship. Knowing what exactly to apologize for is critical.

Whatever you do, when you apologize don’t let your ex bait you into an argument. The biggest irony of saying sorry to an ex is that it can easily lead to another fight. If you say you’re sorry, and your ex brings something else up, don’t get defensive. Stay calm, keep your emotions, your ego, and your pride in check.

Sit down and talk things out
If your ex is up to it, set a time where both of you can sit down and talk. Whatever you do resist the temptation to beg, plead, cry, or force your ex into this. If they don’t want to, then just go to the next step. If they do agree, you’re going to have to keep your emotions in check. This isn’t the time to get into a fight again. Make it clear to your ex that you have no desire to bring blame into the discussion.

You want to talk about the issues objectively. If you talk strictly about the issues without assigning blame, you’ll get better results. It is best if you can get a therapist or an expert in the field of relationships involved with this, if at all possible.

Give them some space
This may seem the opposite of what you need to do to get your ex back. You have to remember just because you want to talk to them or see them, doesn’t mean they do. It is crucial to allow the partner some space. A brief time away from each other, before you try to win them back, will give you both time to cool down and a chance for them to miss you. If you’re in touch with them all the time, they won’t be able to miss you.

Show them you care about yourself
Prove to them that you care about yourself. If you seem desperate, clingy, and whiny, you will not succeed. If you sit around the house waiting for them to call or keep checking your email every few minutes hoping to get their message, you’re not doing yourself any favors. Hang out with friends. Go to movies, go to concerts, go to the mall. Whatever it is, just get up and get out and live your life.

It’s best if you’re not there when your ex calls. Then they’ll be wondering what you’re doing. If you’re out and your cell rings and its your ex, don’t answer it. Let the call go to voice mail. The best thing to do is wait until the next day to call them back. Tell them you were busy, and you didn’t have time to call them back. This will probably shock them. You may even be able to get them to pursue you again.

How To Get Your Guy Back After a Breakup

admin — Fri, 28 May 2010 15:49:54 +0000

It can be a difficult time after a man breaks up with you. You probably don’t feel or even act like yourself at this point. Life almost seems like it has lost its meaning with him in it. Maybe you want to get the guy back.

Getting back with someone who broke up with you can be a very difficult task. For whatever reason, the other person decided that they no longer wanted to try and work things out. They just wanted it to end. It’s usually easier to work out a relationship while you’re still in it, as opposed to when it has ended.

With that being said, you can still get your guy back if he broke up with you. The most critical aspect to this is you are absolutely positive that getting back with him is exactly what you want. Make sure your motives for getting back with him are the right ones. Don’t want him back just to have him back. Make sure that there are very good reasons why you want him back.

The second most critical aspect to get guy back is to realize that sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Some people can make up and move on. Others just can’t recapture the magic of the relationship they once shared. Even if you don’t succeed you will know that you did your best to get your guy back.

If you want to get your guy back, you absolutely must get your emotions in check. There is no room for negotiation on this, guys do not want to be with women who can’t keep their emotions under control. If you attempt to contact him while you don’t have control of your emotions you may do even more damage. For example, if he was starting to miss you and think about you, but you contact him and you’re an emotional mess, you may make him realize that his choice to break up with you was valid.

The best thing you can do is instead of worrying about what he’s doing, or feeling sad that you don’t have him, is to start living your own life. You must prove to him that you can be mature about this breakup. Keep up with your daily routines. Do your hair nice, wear makeup, wear clothes that make you feel good about yourself. Hang out with your friends.

If you’re staying active and living your life without bothering him, you will have a better chance to get him back. If you stay out of contact with him, no calls, no email, no text messages, nothing, you’ll probably find that he will eventually call you, or get in touch with you.

When he does, just keep it brief. Tell him how busy you’ve been. Don’t get mushy or gush out feelings for him. Act indifferent and aloof. This will confuse him. If he wants to see you again, make sure you look your best. Don’t let him touch you or kiss you. Before you leave, if you want, give him a hug but that’s it. This will drive him crazy. From this point, you should be able to get guy back pretty easily. Just take it slow.

As you can see, you can get your guy back, you just have to get your emotions under control. Life your life to the fullest. Always look your best, because that will help you to feel your best. Back off, give him space. He’ll most likely contact you and want to see you again. When he does, be a little bit of a tease. Make him work for your affections again.

Can You And Your Ex Get Back Together?

admin — Fri, 28 May 2010 11:12:05 +0000

If you truly want to get back together with your ex, you have to do a bit of soul searching. You must be totally honest with yourself. You have to decide if you and your ex get back together it will truly make you happy, and you won’t wind up going down the same road that caused the breakup in the first place. It’s always easy after a breakup to only think of the good times. It’s important that you try to be completely objective and think of both the good and bad times.

In reality, there are a few relationships that are not worth saving. If you and your ex spent more time fighting than you did doing something good and fun, then perhaps you should consider moving on. If they were physically or verbally abusive, it probably wasn’t a healthy relationship. If they were mentally unstable, you probably are better off without them. If the relationship overall was a good one, and they weren’t abusive, and they were of sound mind, the following should help you and your ex get back together.

Pestering and pushing your ex is not a good idea. If you try to constantly get in touch with your ex – whether its by phone, email, text message, or stalking them – you’re going to do a lot more harm than good. They will see this as a sign of desperation. This could actually push them further away from you instead of bringing them closer to you.

Don’t argue, beg, or plead with your ex about your past relationship. It’s easy when you and your mind are all alone. Your mind manifests all sorts of “wrongs” that you may have done. Even when your ex broke up with you they may have given you reasons why. Now, you’re probably beating yourself up over them. You probably wish you had never done those things. The past is the past. This is the present.

You need to get it into your head that the relationship is currently over. You can’t go back in time, though you probably wish you could. Concentrate on what is going on now. The only thing worse than obsessively contacting your ex is to beg or plead with them. Make promises how you’ll change, etc…This won’t help you and your ex get back together at all.

If you back off, give them some time, and live your life, you’ll be doing yourself a big favor in more ways than one. You’ll probably become more desirable to your ex, because you’re allowing them to think about you and miss you. You’ll also be helping yourself to live a happier, more fulfilling life too.

5 Simple Tips to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

admin — Thu, 27 May 2010 21:03:48 +0000

It is not easy for you and your ex boyfriend to get back after a breakup. However, there are a few tips that you can follow to have him back again.

So many people don’t succeed in winning their ex back but it’s not really our fault. No one ever handed us an instruction book when we first started dating that taught us how to handle a breakup, much less how to get someone back after a breakup.

If you want to get your ex boyfriend back then these 5 simple steps should help you to achieve your goal:

Step 1.
The first tip which will help you and your ex boyfriend to get back together is to get your head straight. You need to get rid of the negative thoughts. You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself. You have to be willing to be strong.

Don’t let your emotion and especially depression keep you down. You can’t achieve your goals if you can’t keep your emotions in check and your mind clear. Negative thoughts are destructive behavior.

Step 2.
Accept that the relationship in its prior form is over. All the wishing in the world isn’t going to let you to go back in time and change the way things happened no matter how hard you try. You can’t let your mind keep wandering into the past.

Focus on what is going on now. If you realize that the relationship of the past wasn’t perfect you’re heading in the right direction and laying the foundation for you and your ex boyfriend to get back. Remember you are most likely glossing over all the bad stuff that happened. Think about this – the relationship didn’t get broken in a day, so don’t expect to be able to fix it in a day either.

Step 3.
Don’t pester your ex boyfriend. Guys just don’t like it when girls become obsessive about them. Especially ex boyfriends. You may want to seek comfort by hearing his voice or seeing his face, but if you really want him back, you must back off for a while. Don’t continuously call him, text message him, email him, or go to his place or where he hangs out just to see him. Give him time to realize he may have made a mistake. He may begin to actually miss you. If you blow it, you may have a tougher time getting him back.

Step 4.
Become an object of desire. If you can, get some new makeup. Get some new clothes. Get a new hairstyle. If you’ve picked up a few pounds, start exercising and eating healthy. When you look good on the outside, you’re going to start feeling better about yourself on the inside. By feeling good on the inside you will be confident and happy. When you’re confident and happy, you will project this image to others. You will become an object of desire to men. This includes your ex boyfriend.

Step 5.
Take it slow. If you followed steps 1-4 your ex boyfriend at some point will probably get in touch with you. Imagine his surprise when he sees the â€œnewâ€ you from step 4. He will probably be sorry that he broke up with you. Keep your physical contact with him to a minimum, if you do see him.

Seeing you looking your best and seeing that you’ve become confident and happy will make him desire you. If you limit your physical contact with him, this will drive him crazy. It will probably help to ensure that you don’t just jump back into a relationship only to breakup a short time later.

These tips may not be easy for you to do at first, but they will help you and your ex boyfriend to get back after a breakup. You may want to give in and call him or see him, but you have to resist the temptation. Be Strong!