How to Get the Most From Online Dating
February 17, 2009 by admin
Filed under Online Dating
Online Dating Basics
Online dating is not as simple as it looks, you need to know how to go about it in order to get the best out of it. Unfortunately quite a lot of people who decided to give online dating a try ended up with their fingers burnt.
Here are a few pointers to consider when you start off online dating.
Getting started in online dating
There’s an old adage ‘fools rush in where angels fear to tread’ which is certainly true here. It’s always best to be cautious when you’re in unfamiliar uncharted territory. You need to plan before you actually go out there and start showing your cards.
Just because the world and his wife can type out whatever they want in a chat room doesn’t mean that you have to do the same.
One of the benefits of the internet is that anybody can use it. Unfortunately one of the drawbacks of the internet is also that anybody can use it. There are a lot of nice people using the Internet, but just as in the offline world, there are some not so nice people too.
So where do you start?
The first tip I would like to give you is NOT to go straight away into a singles’ chat room and try to find somebody who would interest you. We all know that most of these chat rooms are flooded with people who have only one thing on their mind – sex.
So instead of going into a singles’ chat room, what you could do is to try the whole thing out from a different angle. You could try working backwards.
In other words, decide what you’re looking for, and then go look for it.
It’s more than just looks
Sit for a minute or two and try and think about the things that interest you and things that you would find interesting in a person.
By ‘things’ I am not talking about physical attributes. I am not referring to something that might interest you in a person’s physical appearance. A distinction needs to be made between a serious relationship and a casual relationship. In a casual relationship, the importance is always for the physical attributes. We are more concerned with what the person looks like and what the person has been endowed with.
On the other hand, if we have a serious relationship, then the physical qualities are not so important. Compatibility is probably the most important factor over here. Along with that there are certain qualities that obviously we will be looking out for. We are talking about qualities of the mind. After all, beauty is only skin-deep!
This idea might sound strange, but it is actually true. The idea is that it is possible to grow to like the looks of a person. Once you find the character of the person agreeable you will start liking the person as a whole. It is entirely possible to fall in love with a person if the person does not look like a movie star. That is one of the tricks that nature plays.
There are many people who insist on taking a look at the other person’s picture before actually committing to a relationship. They might have their reasons of course, but I, for one, feel that such a decision based largely on looks is more suitable for a casual relationship. It is bound to sizzle off after some time. After all, how long can you keep staring at a person? And what happens if the person doesn’t stare back at you?
Or even worse, what happens if you find the person staring at another person? Looks may be important, but they certainly are not the most important thing and should never be used as the deciding factor if you are thinking about a serious relationship.
So what are your interests? What do you enjoy doing? And what are your dislikes?
Dislikes are just as important, or even more important than likes. We all have to make compromises here and there, but if we start off by condoning things which we genuinely dislike, one way or another the day will come when the relationship will end up in tears.
Only after you’ve considered the kind of person you’re looking for should you start using an online dating site.
Related posts:
Comments
Tell us what you're thinking...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!