Dating can be extremely confusing and frustrating, no matter what your particular situation may be. Here are some alternative dating ideas that might appeal to people who don’t want to go down the traditional route of seeking a mate.

Singles bars have been around for a very long time now, and although they may not appeal to everyone what makes them ideal is the fact that everyone has the same goal in mind. You’re all in the same boat, and it may not be subtle but it certainly is straightforward.

Speed dating gives you an even shorter time to make an impression. As an alternative dating technique, it can be a lot of fun. You sit opposite someone and each of you have a few minutes to tell the other about yourself. When the bell rings you move on to the next table, start at square one and repeat. If someone bores you to tears, your suffering is short-lived. At the end of the evening, you connect with those that tickled your fancy and go from there. If you didn’t meet anyone you clicked with, there’s no pressure and you can simply go home and attend the next session. This is becoming a very popular technique for singles, and even those who may mock it and perhaps go ‘as a joke’ or on a dare end up enjoying themselves.

Dating agencies have become quite popular in recent times. Professional people who lead busy lives like to use them. It’s an alternative dating method that is not foolproof but it’s somewhat safer, as all clients have gone through a filtering system. Many agencies utilize video dating, whereby the client makes a brief video of themselves and has access to other client videos for perusal. You don’t have long to make an impression, so it’s best to just be yourself. You want to come across as a genuine person, not a phony.

Many communities have singles groups that embark on fun activities together, and this is is a great alternative dating method. Events like biking, bowling, dancing, curling, movie nights and comedy clubs are organized by the singles group, and it allows an evenly-distributed group of participants to have a fun and casual night. With the emphasis put on the activity itself rather than attempting to make a romantic connection, it takes a lot of pressure off the singles and attractions occur a lot more naturally in this kind of setting.

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Phenylethylamine (PEA) is the natural “love drug.” It controls all those powerful brain chemicals that create the heart-fluttering sensation of attraction. All you have to do is pump up the PEA—in the right circumstances, of course—to make your date crave more.

Since the structure of PEA is much like amphetamines, you should plan a date that’s reasonably active and stimulates the senses. And no, that doesn’t mean  videogames! It should be something that gives you plenty of opportunity to interact with each other. That way, your date will associate all that pleasant stimulation with you.

This is also why those same-old same-old movie dates just don’t cut it. Dinner is very  nice, but the first time out, it can be a strain – to say the least – to maintain conversation face to face with somebody you don’t know very well. Dancing is perfect—but only if the music isn’t so loud that you can’t talk. If it is, you’re only stimulating half the package.

Check your local newspaper to find out what’s going on in your area. You may be surprised by the variety of free entertainment you can find. The possibilities are practically endless if you don’t mind the price of admission. Here’s a list to get you started.

Spectator sports

• Air show
• Auto rally
• Ball game: softball, soccer, rugby, baseball, basketball, football . . . Look for local teams, high school games, spring training, exhibition games.
• Balloon race
• Boat race
• Outdoor concerts. Check the newspaper for free ones. Churches often host concerts, too.

Interactive playtime

• Amusement/theme park
• Antique auto show
• Antiques market/show
• Aquarium. Water is sexy.
• Carnival
• Community festivals & street fairs
• Conservatory/botanical gardens. Stop and smell the roses!
• County fair
• Dog & cat shows. First make sure your date isn’t allergic!
• Flea markets & yard sales
• Museums. Look for a featured exhibit or share your own personal favorite.
• Wine tastings. These are often very inexpensive or totally free.
• Zoo. Good place to observe human behavior . . .

Active involvements

• Beach/water park—as long as your date is comfortable, first time out, in a bathing suit. Of course, beaches are good for walking, jogging, horseback riding, kite flying, people watching, picnicking . . .
• Bike riding. Find a bike path or trail in your area and go for a ride.
• Billiards/pool. Unless you’re a pool shark, this can be an easygoing game that allows plenty of conversation and diversion at the same time. If one of you doesn’t know how, the other can teach (obvious contact advantages).
• Bowling
• Canoeing
• Cooking lesson. Department stores, cookware and gourmet shops often give one-time cooking lessons. When you’re done playing with your food, you get to eat it!
• Dancing. The trouble with clubs is the noise level. Why not take a dance lesson together?
• Hiking. City, state, and national parks usually have hiking and nature trails. Pack lunchthrow some drinks or a lunch in a backpack and have fun.)
• Horseback riding
• Ice skating
• In-line/roller skating
• Kite flying
• Miniature golf
• Photography. An instant camera (such as a Polaroid), a digital, or even a couple of disposable cameras; an interesting location; and each other for models . . . picture it!
• Sailing
• Skiing—or how about sledding? (It’s cuddlier!)
• Tennis
• Water skiing
• Work out together: jogging, weight training, yoga . . . find out if you have similar tastes in physical exertion. Why not take advantage of a free gym tryout? Finish up in the hot tub. (Water is sexy!)

Old standbys, but with a kick

• Picnic. Go together to a gourmet or specialty food store and choose a few things you’ve never tried before, or maybe just one fabulous chunk of cheese or honey-dripping hunk of baklava. A farmer’s market or even the local grocery offers plenty of options. Take your bounty someplace comfortable and dig in. Just don’t forget the chocolate!

Movie. Movies aren’t really the best idea for first dates, since you spend so much time sitting side by side, looking straight ahead and not talking. Just doesn’t stimulate the right attraction-chemicals in the brain. But in the summer, some museums and park districts show movies outdoors, often for free. Take a picnic and something comfortable to sit on, people-watch, and talk to each other.

Don’t knock it till you try it

• Reading aloud. Poke around a used-book store or the local library. Depending on your tastes, pick something very funny, slightly steamy, or silly romantic. (Sometimes it’s all the same thing!) Don’t hesitate to comment, use appropriate voices, and take turns. Try reading the dialogue to each other; role play. See what develops

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