Maybe you think that writing isn’t something that you do all that well. Even so, you can do this.

The first thing you need do is to be absolutely honest about yourself. You are looking for that man who will like and maybe someday love YOU…..THE REAL YOU!

Examine past relationships and list the things that you liked and the things you didn’t like. For example, if he smoked in the house and you hated it, you’re not going to like it any better the next time. If you love cats and will always want to own one or more, say that you are an animal lover and want indoor pets. Someone who hates cats or is allergic to them is not the guy for you.

Highlight the things that make you unique. If you play the piano well, you really want Mr. Right to appreciate it. If you run in marathons, a couch potato is not a good match. If you love art, you really don’t want a man who thinks Picasso is an ice cream flavor.

Describe the things that are really important in your life. If volunteering is the one thing that makes you feel useful and worthwhile, you want someone who would, at the very least, support you, if not join you, in your volunteer projects. When you get beyond superficial things, you will attract men who share your values.

Invest in your online profile by hiring a professional photographer for your first online picture. This is really important because the photo is the very first thing men see. The second thing is that they read what you have written about yourself. Some online dating sites even provide you with a list of photographers in your area that specialize in online dating site photos.

Related posts:

1. How to Write a Dating Profile
2. How to Get the Most From Online Dating
3. Succesful Online Dating – Setting Goals

So you’ve taken the plunge and decided to join an online dating site. Congratulations, you are in the 21st century where meeting people via an online dating club is becoming more and more common and accepted.

Now you need to put together your profile so you can attract the kind of person you’re looking for. And you’re probably wondering what to say and how to say it.

The first thing that you should do is take out a pencil and paper and write down the raw details about yourself. By raw details we are talking about things like your age, your height and your weight.

This is the skeleton which we are going to build on. And when we have added enough flesh and blood to this backbone, why even you will be impressed by your profile! But first let’s steer clear of some pitfalls which most people fall into.

Common Pitfalls

The Modesty Pitfall

Most of us by nature tend to be pretty modest. When it comes to saying something good about ourselves we feel very queasy about blowing our own trumpet. Well nobody is asking you to do any trumpet blowing but facts have to be stated as facts.

If you are a music lover and have a good voice too, I don’t see why you can’t just say so. If you think that it’s too boastful, you could say something like “My friends think that I sing rather well.”

There now, you can’t feel too bad about something as simple as that. It is as good as saying “some people think that I sing well, but it is for you to decide whether I have a good voice or not.” Similar statements that you can use are these:

“Lots of people appreciate my cooking.”

“I am no Rembrandt, but I enjoy painting.”

“I like decorating, and many of my friends think that my tastes are not too bad.”

So go ahead, if you really have a talent, you might as well as let others know about it..

The Bragging Pitfall

Bragging, as we all know, is a major turnoff. So it is best to steer completely clear of it. This is especially true in the case of physical attributes. You might be one heck of a looker, but let the other person decide, remember that one man’s meat is another mans poison.

You can make implied statements like, “I am certainly not a bad looker,” or “opinion is divided, some people think that I am good looking while others think that I am not.” But perhaps the best way of describing yourself would be to add a touch of humor to it.

If you are chubby you could say something like, “I am round in all the right places…I hope.” If you are tall you could say something like, “some say I should play basketball.” If you are on the short side you could say something like, “I might seem to lacking in size but I assure you, it is all there.”

You know what’s the best part about such witty remarks about yourself? Humor always works. All of us have been blessed with a sense of humor to some degree at least and if a person is able to make funny comments about himself or herself, that always acts as a turn on.

The Boredom Pitfall

Try to make yourself sound as interesting as possible. I mean it. If you are painting a self portrait you might as well use the right colors. Before we leave our homes what do we do? We all spend at least five minutes in front of our mirrors in an attempt to make our selves look as presentable and as impressive as possible.

Well, the same thing applies to our profile. Remove all drab details about yourself that might be of no interest to the reader. If you job is something like editing journals on the etymology of words derived from ancient Aramaic, well, just say that you have an editing job.

Similarly try to bear in mind that anything can be put down in two ways. You can either make it interesting or boring; so work on it until you are sure that it will not bore a reader to death and the best test for this would be to hand it over to a close friend and ask that friend’s opinion. Nobody likes a bore so make the effort not to sound like one.

Your real dating profile

Now that we have discussed the major pitfalls, let’s move on to the real profile. The reason I said real profile is that the profile must reflect the person you really are.

Honesty is the best policy

While you might take some care to conceal your identity it is best not to lie.

Don’t try to bluff your way through a relationship because it’s inevitable that the whole thing might come out and as we all know, one lie leads to another and then before you know it the whole relationship will crash. Be as honest and as frank as you can, taking care to conceal your identity.

Someone once said that a friend is some one who knows all about you and loves you just the same. So there is no need to hide things about you. Of course you do not have to tell the person every ghastly, gory detail about yourself, but at the same time you do not have to conjure up stuff about you that just is not true.

Choose an appropriate handle

When you choose a handle to identify yourself by, you have to be sensible. Do not try to attract as many partners as possible. After all, what are we looking for, quality or quantity? Try to attract only the kind of people you are interested in and who would find you interesting.

For that reason I suggest that you use a handle that better defines the kind of person you are. Do not try to sound like a sex god or a sex goddess. If you are, let the other person decide for himself or herself. So steer clear of handles like Megastud, Handsomehunk, Superbabe or Bedlover.

Instead of that you could try handles that give someone an immediate idea about the kind of person you are. If you are an outdoor person you could use something like Natureguy or Naturegirl; if you are a music freak use something like Musicman or Musicmaid. If you are into theatre and stuff like that you could choose a name like Theatreguy or Theatregirl.

The point is to attract people who are interested in the same kind of stuff as you are. That of course increases your chances of gelling with the person.

Brevity is key

Another crucial thing about writing your profile is that you should keep it as brief as possible. Nobody and that means nobody wants to read through lines and lines of another person’s profile. If you make it so long winded the person who is reading it will get the idea that you are the kind of person who would love to keep on talking about yourself and instead of go on a date with you, the reader would rather curl up and die.

But that doesn’t mean that you have to limit the whole thing to just a few words. A too brief profile would sound as if you do not have time for all this, but you are just doing it for the heck of it.

The best style that you could use would be to be 100% natural. Write your profile as you would describe yourself to a person directly. The conversation style has the widest appeal I might add. Make it simple and stay away from big words and hackneyed expressions. If you need to look a word up in the dictionary, don’t use it.

You are unique

Think about it for a minute. Look at yourself in the mirror. Do you look like anyone else that you know? We all look so different though essentially we have been endowed with the same external characteristics, which are one nose, one mouth, two eyes and two ears.

So in spite of having the same building blocks, if we can look so different why do we have to sound alike? Think about yourself in a different way. Do not just consider your likes and dislikes when you are writing your profile, consider your endearing qualities as well. Endearing qualities, what are those?

Those are those qualities which make you liked by others. Of course, these are things that we never bother, about but maybe we should. So what I would suggest would be to ask your best friends why they like you. Who knows, their answers just might surprise you! But at least you will get an idea of what you can include in your profile.

Related posts:

1. A Woman’s Guide to Writing a Great Dating Site Profile
2. Succesful Online Dating – Setting Goals
3. How to Get the Most From Online Dating